E-mail: cheeza@supanet.com

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I'm standing in the supply cupboard at work. I'm supposed to be looking for something for Weaver but instead I find myself gazing down at my stomach. It's silly, I know, but I can't help it. I'm happy, truly happy. It amazes me how much your life can change in a couple of days. Two days ago all I was planning was where I was gonna eat at lunchtime. Now I'm planning the colour scheme in the nursery. I laugh at myself slightly. I don't think I've ever been this excited about anything. I don't know how I'm gonna wait six months.

My thoughts turn to Carter, as usual. It amazes me how sweet he is. I expected him to be...I don't know...disappointed in me when I told him about my abortion. But he was supportive and he didn't judge me. That's what I love about him. I've been feeling so anxious since yesterday. What if he says he doesn't want to be involved? I shake my head slightly. No, it's Carter. He'd never do that. I smile happily, my hand lingering on my stomach. I'm going to be a Mother. I'm still waiting on it sinking in. I think over what I said to Carter. This time it is different. I love Carter...even if he doesn't love me back. And I'm stronger now. I can do this. More importantly, I want to do this.

Lost in my own thoughts I don't even realise someone's beside me until,

"Hey." I spin round and stumble backwards slightly. He rushes forward and grabs my arm to steady me. "Oh God! I'm sorry." Are you okay?" He asks. I start to giggle - giggle, when have I ever done that?! - at the worried look on his face.

"I'm fine. I just didn't know you were there." He nods slightly, the worry still obvious in his deep brown eyes.

"How are you?" He asks softly.

"I'm fine." I look up at him, begging him to tell me how he feels. That he's happy. He reads my eyes and begin to speak,

"Look, about yesterday...I was..."

"Shocked?"

"Yeah. To tell you the truth I still am." I nod. Is he happy? He stands looking uncomfortable before asking,

"Have you told him yet?" I look at him, confused. Told who? I realised who he's talking about and immediately feel guilty. How could I forget my boyfriend? Jason. There's a good word to remember. I look down, unwilling to meet his eyes,

"Not yet. I mean, I only just started dating him. It's gonna be hard enough telling him I'm pregnant...nevermind that he's not even the Father." I laugh nervously, wishing he would just tell me how he felt. Is he trying to make this hard...or am I just being unreasonable? When he doesn't say anything I continue,

"Plus, I thought it'd be best if I know, you know, where you and I stood first." Again I look into his eyes, eyes I could so easily get lost in, looking for an answer. This time it's him that is nervous.

"I...uh...I'm...I'm...yesterday I was surprised but...I am happy about this Abby. Really, really happy. And...I want to be involved as much a possible...I mean...if you want me to." He looks at me hopefully and I feel like my heart's about o burst. I nod my head slightly, tears threatening to appear,

"Yeah, that's what I want too." My smile matched his as I reach up to hug him. He holds be tightly and I feel warmth and security coming from him. He'll be there for me. I don't want to let go, but I feel him pull back slightly and look at me, his mouth curved upwards into a smile,

"We're going to have a baby!" I hear the excitement in his voice and it makes me smile.

"Yeah," I whisper. I'm so glad he's happy. It makes this all the more amazing.

"So...how do we do this?" He asks gently. I shrug,

"I don't know. I guess we just figure it out as we go along." I smile again and take his hand, I hold it to my stomach. He looks at me, grinning.

"I know you can't feel anything right now, but this is our baby." I blush, slightly embarrassed that I'm being so silly but continue, "And it might get hard, or weird, or...whatever. But it doesn't matter 'cause this is our baby."

And we stand like that, his hand resting on my stomach, smiling at each other. This place is perfect. I look deep into the happiness of his eyes and feel a twinge at my heart. I want, so badly, to kiss him right now and, yeah, it hurts that I can't but I push it aside. I'm not going to let anything ruin this. I just keep watching him. After a while, I notice his eyes cloud over with worry,

"You are okay, right? I mean, you've been checked out in OB haven't you?" I chuckle softly. It's cute that he's worried.

"Yes, don't worry. I made an appointment for next week." He nods, thinking,

"Okay, but promise me you'll take it easy until then."

"Yes Dad!" I reply, without realising what I'm saying. He grins in return and I smile too. I seem to be doing that a lot today. "Right!" I roll my eyes, finally catching on. They dopey look in his eyes is matched in my own.

"Guess I'm still not used to it."

"Yeah well, you've got six months for it to sink in."

"Six months," he sighs happily before his concern returns,

"Seriously though...you promise to relax? I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

"I promise. You're going to be one of those really overprotective fathers aren't you?" I grin cheekily, as does he.

"You bet!"

"Do you wanna come?" I ask shyly.

"Where?"

"Do you want to come with me next week when I go for my check up?"

"Can I? You don't mind?" He asks, as shyly as I did.

"You should be there. I want you to be there." He nods as his smile widens.

And again, we stand in silence, still trying to absorb everything. Unfortunately our moment is interrupted.

"Abby, have you got me that catheter yet?" Weaver barked. I roll my eyes,

"I better go..." I grab the drug and open the door.

"Abby..." He begins uncertainly. I turn and look at him. I sense his uneasiness as he stutters, "What...what made you decide...to...to keep this baby?"

I look up at him and smile gently assuring him to was okay to ask. I knew it would come eventually. I search deep inside myself for the answer. There are so many reasons why I want this. I'm stronger now, I'm ready, I can cope with a baby now. I'm happier... All excellent reasons but not the ones I give him. Standing here, looking deep into his eyes I know what it is that gives me then strength to see this through this time and I whisper simply before disappearing out the door,

"It's yours."

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A/N: So there you have it, chapter Five. Chapter six should be up soon. If you've got time please review (either by clicking below or by e-mailing me)! Thanks for reading.

Theresa